WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = You'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure...go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about??

Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not going to like

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry

I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy

I'm tired = I'm tired

Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you

Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you

What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question

I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?

I love you = Let's have sex now

I love you, too = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!

Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me

Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay

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