Funny Quotes

Funny Quotes

"Smoking kills, and if you''re killed, you''ve lost a very important part of your life.!
-Anti-smoking spokesperson Brooke Shields

"The police are not here to create disorder, they''re here to preserve disorder!
-Former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention

"If you''ve seen one Redwood tree, you''ve seen them all!
-Forestry expert Ronald Reagan

"Traditionally, most of Australia''s imports come from overseas"
-Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery

"The streets are safe in Philadelphia, it''s only the people that make them unsafe"
-Former Philadelphia Mayor and Police Chief Frank Rizzo

"The internet is a great way to get on the net!
-Republican presidential candidate Bob Dole

"It is bad luck to be superstitious!
-Andrew Mathis

"He was a man of great statue!
-Boston mayor Thomas Menino on former mayor John Collins

"It''s like an alcatraz around my neck"
-Boston mayor Menino on the shortage of city parking spaces

"They''re multipurpose. Not only do they put the clips on, but they take them off."
-Pratt & Whitney spokesperson explaining why the company charged the Air Force nearly $1000 for an ordinary pair of pliers.

"The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep."
-Clinton aide George Stephanopolous speaking on Larry King Live

"We''re going to turn this team around 360 degrees."
-Jason Kidd, upon his drafting to the Dallas Mavericks

"I''m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.!
-Hillary Clinton commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents

"When more and more people are thrown out of work, unemployment results.!
-Former U.S. President Calvin Coolidge

"It''s like deja vu all over again.!
-Yogi Berra

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese"
-Former French President Charles De Gaulle

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death by a jackass, and I''m just the one to do it.!
-A congressional candidate in Texas